Loyalty

Loyalty: Faithful to a cause, ideal, custom, institution, product, or people.

Dear Parents,

You do things every day to show your loyalty to your children, but many of these things are so automatic they are seldom noticed and used as examples of loyalty.

Remind your children more often that you will always be there for them, that they can depend on you, and you’ll be behind them always. Take credit for your loyalty, because it is the best way to instill the same qualities in your children.

What can parents and caregivers do to help their children develop loyalty?

Demonstrate loyalty at home. Instead of saying, “I’ll pick you up after school,” say, “I’ll be there at three; you can count on me!” Instead of just going to a child’s martial arts class or music recital, say, “I’ll be there no matter how busy I am, because I want to be with you and support what you do!”

Teach loyalty. Help your children see the difference between loyalty and “not telling.” Explain how they might get the idea that being loyal to friends means not telling on them or even lying to protect them. Explain when someone does something wrong, a truly loyal friend would try to get him or her to admit it, and if that didn’t work, you should tell someone. If neither happens, the friend will probably keep doing wrong and get in even more trouble.

Play a game. When driving or waiting in line, ask your child “what if” questions about which is showing loyalty and which is not. Examples: If some kids in class were making fun of your best friend, would you join them or stand by your friend? If your friend stole a small toy from the store, what would you do? What would you do if your brother or sister was in a martial arts tournament the same night you were invited to a classmate’s party?